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Dear Evan Hansen

I saw Dear Evan Hansen Sunday and it was AMAZING!!

This musical perfectly represented how I feel at some points and I have at some point related to each one of the characters.  I saw it with the original cast except that Evan was played by Colton Ryan instead of Ben Platt and he was great.  We stayed after to stagedoor and I got signatures from Colton Ryan, Kristolyn Lloyd, and Micheal Park.  (Extreme Fangirling Coming Up)  When Colton was signing my playbill he messed up the signature and goes “Its ok its very unique” and I freaked out and started crying.  I was really sad that Mike Faist, Will Roland, and Laura Dreyfuss and everyone else didn’t come out.  I was shaking with excitement all day and now that its over i’ve just been so sad that i’m not there anymore.

Anyway about the actual play:

The basic plot (without spoilers) is:

Conner was a pretty bad person and bullied Evan and everyone else and school. Evan has social anxiety and has no friends.  Connor signs Evans cast but later finds a letter that Evan had written to himself and sees that Zoe, his sister, was mentioned.  Connor takes the letter and later that day he kills himself.  His parents find the letter and assume that Connor wrote it to Evan and think they were friends.  Evan doesn’t want to tell them the truth about Connor so he goes with the lie.  He ends up creating a whole friendship between them and starts a fundraiser in Connors name.  He and Zoe end up dating and Evan starts to become part of the Murphy family and leaves his mom alone.  He ends up coming clean at the end after Connor’s “suicide note” was published.

 

This show has so many important messages in it, some that are very obvious and some are only visible if you have been through these experiences.  It is so great at getting the point across

 

SPOILERS AHEAD…

 

Evan broke his arm falling out of a tree but near the end he talks to “Connor” and they start screaming at each other and it ends with “Connor” saying “did you fall or did you let go?” and it turns out that he tried to kill himself.

Evan was in denial and kept telling himself that it was an accident and didn’t even realize he was lying.  This is one of the things that are impossible to understand unless you have gone through it.   I completely forgot about my own suicide attempt for about 5 months and when it came back I was destroyed from the memory.  They also show how hard it was for Evan to tell his mom and he never says it out loud; only saying “I’m sorry”  I have told two of my friends but only through letters and I cannot say it out loud and probably will not for a very long time if ever.

IF YOU EVER EVER FEEL ANYTHING LIKE THIS PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEONE.  It could be a friend, a teacher, a family member, a suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255), or even me.  You can email me at Pegasusgirl2003@gmail.com or dm me on instagram @pegasusgirlblog.  I love you all

-Pegasus Girl ❤

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1-800-273-8255

Though it might seem like forever

Its not

Though it may seem impossible

Its not

It may seem clever

Its not

It might seem like sneaking out is possible

Its not

You may think nobody would miss you

They would

You may think you don’t matter

You do

It might seem hard to break through

It is

You may want to shatter

But don’t

Someone is there for you

I am there for you

They are there for you

1-800-273-8255

So talk, text, or call

Because

I care if you are here

 

Inspired by Logic, Alessia Cara, and Khalid

If you ever need to talk I am always here to email (pegasusgirl2003@gmail.com) or dm(@pegasusgirlblog on insta) (@pegasusgirl2003 on twitter) or call 18002738255 which is the suicide hotline.

Here’s the link to the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb24RrHIbFk

And another video I love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBUMugqDRHg

 

Back to School

First of all; I DON’T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL

But anyway here’s why:

I miss my friends

and learning

but not the drama

and stress

and no free time

and constant fear

and no sleep

or calm

 

Sorry it’s short but here’s some other stuff:

1st Sorry it has been a while I was at the beach

2nd School starts in like 3 days and I’m still not done with summer work

3rd I have a tumblr (pegasusgirlblog) pinterest (closetedqueerblog) instagram (@pegasusgirlblog) and a twitter (@pegasusgirl2003) so follow me there!

 

15,000

Our president has recently induced a ban on transgendered individuals serving in the military and my immediate reaction was: well of course he did, why is this even a shock anymore?  After thinking for a while I wrote this.

 

15000 people

15000 humans

15000 lives

15000 people

just

like

you

you used to say

“I will fight for you”

now you say

“burdens…disruptive”

15000 heros

with personal lives

that DO NOT CONCERN YOU

these human lives

protect your life

and you cannot learn

to respect these people

if you don’t like these men and women

fine be like that based on your

religion then fine amen

but that does not give

you the right to hate others

for their right to live

as their true selves

you do not need

to give permission

to anyone

15000 human lives

that matter

are not burdens

that have rights

15000

Yeah I’m kinda mad

-Pegasus Girl ❤

P.S. Sorry I haven’t posted recently I was in Greece, France, and the Netherlands

P.P.S. This ban has not (and most likely won’t) been put in affect as nobody approved it or knew about it except the president.

Orlando: One Year Later

One year ago today

There was an attack

On the lives of many

And the hearts of more

One year ago today

I did not cry

Not for lack of caring

But for ignorance

One year ago today

There was an attack

On the queer community

And the latinx community

One year ago today

I did not cry

Not for lack of care

But for lack of reality

Today I look back

On the attack

To see the terrible truth

Of this day in history

Today I look back

And cry

For those lost

But also for myself

Six months ago

I decided to listen to Hamilton

And to watch the Tony’s to hear

Love is love

Six months ago

I watch every video i can find

Not only to learn

But to feel

One year ago today

There was an attack

On the lives of many

And the hearts of all

-Pegasus Girl ❤

 

Love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love

cannot  be killed or swept aside…

now fill the world with music

love

and pride

-Lin-Manuel Miranda

No Words

This is my personal response/rant to the bombing in Manchester.  For anyone who doesn’t know an Ariana Grande concert was bombed by an ISIS suicide bomber.  Twenty-two people died and 59 were injured and some people are still missing most of them children.  (sorry I’m late, I was away from my computer)

This is just another, another attack, another political statement, another religious statement.  Except its not, its an attack on innocent people, mostly children, who were at a concert.  Concerts are supposed to be fun and safe for everyone there; the staff, performers, and concert-goers.  This kind of tragedy should not be “normal” but rather as shocking and horrible, because it is.  These attacks should not be normalized they should not be used as fear tactics but should not happen at all.

The Mirror

If the eyes are the window to the soul

Then the only time we truly see ourselves

Is when we look in the mirror

And when I look in the mirror

I see you

And you

And everyone that has been

Remembered and will always be

And has an impact on my life

So that all of my friends

And everyone who sees this

Is there,

Wether or not

I know who you are

Or if I just am aware of your existence

Wether or not your picture is there

I see myself

-Pegasus Girl ❤